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Was that a duck?
This is a stupid question. A silly question. A completely unnecessary question. It wasn’t a duck. Couldn’t have been.
She loved ducks.
There are no ducks. Not anymore. Not for a long while.
I miss ducks. I missed ducks. Not anymore. Not for a long while.
I still miss her though. I figure I always will.
Nothing is the same, everything is different. Or maybe everything is the same, always has been. I am made of atoms, that rock is made of atoms, the water of the lake is made of atoms. Everything is the same.
Everything is different. It goes deeper than atoms, deeper than electrons. Deeper than gluons and quarks and a whole bunch of other things that I don’t understand.
There are no ducks, or birds. Or anything. Or anyone. There is nothing. Not anymore, not for a long while. There is only me. Everything is different, everything is the same.
I woke up one morning, alone. I wake up every morning alone.
For a long time I wandered an abandoned landscape, looking for anyone, anything, but there was no one, there is no one, there will never be anyone. Not anymore.
I don’t know what happened, I figure I never will, a better, smarter man may tell you why this one morning everything with a brain simply wasn’t anymore. There didn’t die, they just weren’t. Gone from existence.
Do I have a brain? Did I have a brain? Not anymore. Not for a long while. If I ever did have one its gone now. It must be. There are no ducks. But I saw a duck.
Didn’t I?
I walked here, to this lake house. To this lake house her father built. To where she would always be when I couldn’t find her. But she wasn’t here, isn’t here, hasn’t been here. Not anymore. Not for a long while.
But this place is still her place. It’s still her. Or maybe its me, maybe I brought her with me. Brought her home. I don’t understand. I miss her.
Everything is the same.
Everything is different.
The lake is calm. I am calm. We are calm.
Everything is the same.
There is a duck sitting beside me.
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